Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life” (Proverbs 4:23, NIV).
I had grabbed a new magazine in line at the grocery store the other day. A magazine for families, I thought as I picked up a popular title. This should be safe.
Thumbing through the pages, I saw a title I couldn’t believe. “Why You Can Love Your Husband and Brad Pitt Too.” I turned back to the cover to make sure I had not inadvertently picked up Cosmo or Glamour. Nope, it was a magazine for families—targeted at wives and mothers.
This is some of what the author had to say:
Last spring I found myself applying a pretty shade of pink lipstick before heading off to the nursery to buy annuals. Why the fuss? I hoped to run into the handsome gentleman who worked there…According to experts, married crushes are natural and common. As long as you don’t let them develop into full-blown fantasies or consider acting upon them, these minor attractions can actually help you appreciate your spouse more…
“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart (Matthew 5:27-28 NIV).
Looking at another man with a flirtatious eye is such a serious offense that Jesus went on to say, “If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away…If your right hand causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away” (Matthew 5:29-30 NIV).
Now, I’m not going to tell you to pluck out your eye if you do have a crush on the cute young man who bags your groceries, but I am saying that you might need to pluck it out by shopping elsewhere.
I am also saying that if you find yourself adding a bit of lip-gloss before heading out to the post office where the guy with the steel blue eyes always greets you with a smile, you need to pluck it out—forget the gloss and go to another post office.
Possibly you think I’ve gone just a bit too far. I imagine the folks back in the day, listening to Jesus’ advice about running from temptation thought so too. I’ve never known of a woman who had an affair which did not begin with a toying glance or flirtatious “innocent” bantering.
Let’s face it, women long to feel beautiful. After being married for many years and having a baby or two (or three), we begin to wonder if we are still pretty or sexually appealing. Then a man comes along who pays us a compliment and our hearts skip a beat. That is natural. However, if that compliment or attention leads to infatuation, returning for more, or a “crush” as this particular article implies, Jesus tells us to turn and run in the opposite direction. “Flee sexual immorality,” (1 Corinthians 6:18). This is serious…pluck it out.
The above article had very little to do with Brad Pitt or the whoever is the latest star, but more to say about men we come in contact with everyday. Honestly, had it been Brad or Mel, I might have had a chuckle. But this article was encouraging women to play with fire. The author went on to say…
Whether you have a soft spot for Mel Gibson or Mel the mailman, make sure your husband knows that a crush doesn’t change the way you feel about him. We all want to know that we are number one in our spouse’s life. As for me, I told my husband about the man at the nursery. ‘Going to see your boyfriend?’ he teased as I headed out the door to buy mulch. Later I assured him that while Garden Guy knew the best cure for aphids, he could never melt my heart.
I read that and tried to imagine my husband saying to me…”Honey, I want to tell you that I have a crush on the check-out girl at Home Depot, but I still love you the best.” I get a queasy feeling just thinking about such a conversation. And yet, this is what this “family magazine” was suggesting.
Bottom line? Ladies, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life. The heart of the matter is the matter of the heart.