God’s Provision

I made some great Alfredo tonight. The kids loved it so much they had 2nd and 3rd helpings.  This isn’t about my awesome cooking skills though, this is definitely not a Pintrest post.

This is about God providing in a time of need.

See, my husband was supposed to get a paycheck today. That did not happen. Seems there was a glitch in payroll (they actually forgot to pay him really, since he is only there part-time).  However, since we were counting on that check until the next paycheck by his other job or mine, it was a big blow. We had $30 bucks in our checking account.

Sean freaked a bit. For some reason I was extremely calm. Calm and money do not go hand in hand for me. In fact, usually I am the one freaking out. Freaking out is actually an understatement to what I do when we are short on cash. I know what bills are due when and schedule every bill we pay and groceries and extracurricular and  come completely frenzied if this system is altered in any way to make it an uncomfortable week or month or year…

The Lord is my Shepard, I shall not want…  Psalm 23:1

This verse provides an uplifting passage of a Shepard who provides for His flock, who guides His lambs and keeps them safe. What a wonderful promise of God’s never ending care. As God’s sheep, we are not alone. He does provide in times of need. I am reminded of how he provided manna for the people who left Egypt. Except He made a rule. Take only for that day. It’s in our nature to hoard as much as possible. As Americans, it’s in our nature to want as much as possible. I wanted a cushion of cash so I would not freak out. Yet, I don’t have bills due until Thurs of this week. We will survive until the next paycheck. Yet, $30 hardly seemed reasonable for 2 days.

Did you just hear me?! God has left us $30 for 2 days! Praise Him!

Back to my story… I was going to take Sean’s check and get groceries as we were running out of things quickly. One stick of butter and one  gallon of milk for 5 peeps for 2 days?! I looked in the pantry. We have a pantry so that should say how awesome God already has been to our family. I could still choose a meal for dinner. I decided to only use half the chicken left and broccoli and the rest of some penne noodles and make my own Alfredo sauce.  Seeing as how I learned a thing or two from my very all-natural sister and awesome chef bro-in-law, I could do this, easily.

Okay, so my sauce was a bit runny and the broccoli did not get eaten by some, but I had a hot meal on our table. I had a warm house to share that hot meal in. I had a fantastically funny family to enjoy and laugh with over dinner. God provides folks. I also have a meal planned for tomorrow – an easy beef and veggie stew already prepared so we can get to church on time. Manna today and manna tomorrow. God has got this and I am not stressed about it. Maybe God will use this as a new beginning to how I start to view His goodness in 2014? I hope so. I am rejoicing in God’s never ending care.

Baked Potatoes and Being Wise (Intentional Parenting)

I dropped a baked potato on Sunday afternoon. This is not the worst thing to ever happen to me, but for some reason, I got extremely frustrated with the fact that my potato had just landed on the floor. Bits of potato, melted butter, cheese, and bacon bits were scattered everywhere. I uttered some not so nice words along with, “This was not part of my plan!”

My daughter pipes right up, “But it’s God’s plan.”

Man, this girl is wise. I stopped and started to think about it. She, of course, was right, but what really got to me was the fact that if I get this upset over a dropped potato, how do I handle the bigger things in life? How do I handle life’s frustrations, sufferings, or changes? What kind of an example am I to my children when these life lessons pop up?

Apparently, not a good one. Thankfully, God gave my 7 year old an enormous heart and despite my utter failings as a parent, she is still so wise and loving. She got down and started picking up shrapnel from the potato fail. She didn’t fault me. She didn’t judge my poor word choice. She just showed compassion and loved me despite my anger. She did exactly what Jesus would have done.

The ironic part is that I thought I was so wise this week as a parent. We were watching the movie Brave and I started a conversation about how when we face fear and change, we can grow and become stronger and wiser. We can use that change to evaluate how our plans fit into God’s plans. And then I dropped a potato.

We talked this week at church about what it means to keep the end in mind when parenting; be intentional with our children.

We are our children’s view of God.

That thought scares me. We also learned that there are no perfect parents and God cares more about where you are going than where you’ve been. Thank goodness! I can put this potato fiasco behind me and celebrate the small steps I am doing right as a parent. I can celebrate that my 7 year old keeps God as her main focus at all times.

It (obviously) isn’t because I am a stellar parent. But I do know that my husband and I have been very intentional in what matters most when raising our children. We fail. Miserably. All. The. Time. But every once in a while, I get a gold nugget of truth across and this is apparent when we see our daughter be intentional in her actions and words and wisdom.

My child, listen and be wise. Keep your heart on the right path. Proverbs 23:19

 

*Update – my daughter has continued to keep a healthy vision of God as her main focus and just got baptized this last weekend. We are so proud she took this step to show her faith in a very public way like baptism. 2-19-15

Standing Still

Now therefore stand still and see this great thing that the LORD will do before your eyes. 1 Samuel 12:16

Normally I am a nurturing, compassionate, concerned mom. Today I had an epic mom fail. There are these bee-like creatures in front of my mom’s apartment. Now I have no idea if they are actually related to anything that can sting, but because they look like a bee and fly like a bee, well it’s a bee in my book. I am allergic to bees. Not to the point I need an epi-pen (or at least not so far – I don’t get stung a lot and you’ll speculate why), but allergic nonetheless.

Picking up my kids from my mom’s house, we make our way towards the car and I see one of these vicious bird creatures (they are seriously giant!). I take off sprinting towards the car. I hear my daughter over my shoulder yell, “Run, mom, run!” My sister, who is also picking up her daughter laughs at me. “You didn’t even try to grab a kid.”  My kids think this is completely normal as they do not even bat an eyelash watching mommy run around like a chicken with her head cut off. I’m sure the neighbors in my mom’s apartment complex also find amusement in my fanatical, wave my arms for good measure, screaming, and zigzag running.

As I look back, after the maniacal woman that took over my body for the 30 seconds of crazy I just was leaves, I realize the irony in this situation. My daughter, my loving wonderful daughter did not think of running herself the entire time. Instead she is filled with compassion that the bird-bee doesn’t get to me because she knows it will make me swell. She is only worried about other people even when (or if since I don’t actually know if this thing stings) danger approaches.

Realizing this, I am filled with mom hate. I am a terrible mother. I plead insanity since I am a normally level-headed person and know that I should just stand still. But a part of me has so much fear deep down, that I can’t do that. Whoa! Now we’re just starting to scratch the surface folks! This is deep! How did I get this fear so ingrained that it overpowers my rationale and lets me go ballistic in my mom’s parking lot? What is this fear teaching my children as I talk of standing still on calm days and do the exact opposite when this fear presents itself?

Giving into fear is not trusting God.

Okay, I know it’s just a bee fear, but this crosses over into other areas of my life. I let the fear take over and don’t let God in. I just need to stand still for a moment. When I am standing still, with God in control, I can be that compassionate, loving momma I struggle to be. I can be the mom who stands still with her arms wrapped around her children waiting for the threat to pass, instead of this wild woman running in circles with nowhere to go.

Though my daughter is completely calm in this situation, I still see the anxiety creeping in and wonder how much of that is because of me. She is only 7 and already she worries so much. She also has so much compassion. I pray God can use these two feelings together to help her fear the Lord and love others. I hope God uses me to teach her even an ounce of this.

She comes to me with a problem later on in the evening and in super-mom fashion, I am able to redeem a part of what I just undid as I calmly talk with her and suggest solutions. I am glad for this moment, for any moment that leads me to be a calming factor for her. I am glad for this moment to remember to stand still and watch God work.

Practicing Patience

My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. – James 1:19-20

Glancing at my watch, I call their names again. “It’s time to go!” I had told them 10 minutes ago to get dressed. I walk in their room and find them half-dressed, hair in tangles and playing. My patience is already worn thin, I’m irritated and it is only 7:45 AM.

I have zero patience. None. Zilch. Zip.

At least not at home. At school, I seem to have quite an abundance of patience and maybe I am faking it at school or it is wearing on me by the time I get home, but it doesn’t take much for me to come unglued around my own kids.

When I think about patience, I think about waiting. If I’ve waited in line at the store with all 3 kids in tow, with the slow checkout lady, without getting irritated, that’s patience. And patience is also when I don’t blow my top when my kids don’t get ready on time.

Patience is all those things, but it’s also much more. 1 Corinthians lists patience as the first characteristic of love. “Love is patient.”(1 Corinthians 13:1) Patience is more than merely waiting. Patience is trusting God’s love is greater than the challenges before you. It is believing that he is at work in you, molding and refining you into something more glorious. Patience is also believing in the work that he is doing in others, especially our spouse and children. It is resting in the knowledge that he is sovereign over every circumstance, challenge, irritation, confrontation or problem that we face.

Love is patience; patience is love.

I am more patient now than I was before we had children, but I still have a long way to go (a very long way to go).

We complicate parenting. We try so many different methods looking for the perfect solution to help us to be more patient with our children. When really? A large portion of our irritation can be avoided with a few simple steps.

Despite our best efforts we will face situations that test our patience to the limit. Here are some things that I (try to) do that help me handle the tough times in a biblical manner.

I want to challenge you to try these tips for 1 day and you’ll be amazed at the impact they will have!

Sleep 7-8 Hours

Have you ever had a child MELT DOWN when they were over tired? Yeah, me too.

Anyone with kids knows how vital sleep is to both our emotional and physical well being. Many of us don’t get enough sleep for various reasons. Like Facebook. Like reading blogs (except this one of course). Like TV. The list goes on. We say that we NEED time to relax. Then in the name of “relaxation”, we stay up late, only to be exhausted and cranky the next day.

When we stay up late, we rob ourselves of tomorrow’s energy, patience and joy.

Sing The Patience Song Or Breath

The what? Yes, you heard me. There is a song that I teach my kids to sing and so in turn, I should be singing it too. It goes like this:

Have patience. Have patience.
Don’t be in such a hurry.
When you get inpatient, you only start to worry.
Remember, remember, that God has patience too.
Think of all the times when others have to wait for you.

Singing this song (yes, even in the grocery line) or taking deep breaths, counting, whatever it takes helps me to calm down in that moment.

You can listen to the whole song here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9kn6Z2Mop5I

Be Like A Wall Of Jell-O

Being an adult with emotional kids is tough. So imagine what it’s like for our kids to have emotional parents. When we respond poorly to our children’s emotions (with anger, frustration, rudeness, annoyance) it truly rocks their world. Our children need stability. When we are frustrated and angry, our responses are not going to bring about righteousness in our children. Being angry doesn’t teach our children anything except that “if Mom can fly off the handle, so can I.”

Be the Jell-O in their lives; absorb their emotions and frustrations, filtering them through prayer. If we can’t respond in LOVE, tell them we need to calm down and postpone response.

Be All There. Don’t Multitask.

Often times the root of our impatience is because we’re distracted, trying to do too much.

Stop what you’re doing and look at your child.

I am frequently asked the same question multiple times simply because each child needs to know the answer. I’m often tempted to reply with impatience when I’m asked, “May I go play outside?” for the seventh time in 3 minutes, but when I stop a moment and look at my child, I realize that this child has not yet heard my reply, they’ve done nothing wrong and are simply asking me a question. Responding with impatience would certainly be provoking my child to anger.

Start 15 Minutes (Or More) Early

Possibly the most patience testing time for moms are when we are trying to transition our kids. They always seem to move in slow motion. They forget things like – pants. It’s truly stunning the crazy things that cause friction during transition times. Starting extra early allows me time to handle a blowout diaper, a disobedient child, a lost shoe, another potty break, a sensory issue, or whatever else comes my way. It’s when I face all of these (and twenty more) at the same time that I work on keeping my patience, because it happens and those stressful situations are sure to come, no matter how many children are in your home.

Pray For Patience

And I tell you, ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. – Luke 11:9

It’s impossible to get frustrated or angry if I’m in the process of praying.

Focus On The Goal

Generally my impatience comes when I’m focused on me and what I want to accomplish (dinner on the table, clean house, at school on time). In these instances I view my children’s interruptions as a hindrance to the goal, but I have it all wrong.

Dealing properly with my child’s interruption is the goal.

When I remember that my goal in life is to serve Christ by serving these children, then I’m able to have a right view of the interruptions, messes and chaos that come my way.

Repent

When you lose your patience and respond to your children in a sinful manner, then be quick to repent and ask their forgiveness and God’s forgiveness. I always use the words, “I was wrong”. I tell them in what way I sinned against them and I ask them to forgive me.

The times we find ourselves having to wait on others may be the perfect opportunities to train ourselves to wait on the Lord.

 

–Joni Eareckson Tada

Fresh Brewed Faith

“He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength.” -Isaiah 40:29-30 NIV

Every morning I walk straight to the coffee pot and push the ON button. Saying I like coffee is putting it mildly. I’m a coffee junky. I like a piping-hot, medium roast with cream and a bit of sweetener, and I struggle to function without my first cup of coffee. I crave that first sip and relish the warmth of the mug in my hands, especially on these cold Nebraska winter mornings. My mornings just wouldn’t be the same without coffee!

I should have the same attitude about my faith.  I should wake up each morning bursting at the seams to be with God, to be in His presence, to listen for His still voice, to savor Him. A faith that is brewed fresh daily strengthens me, renews me, and enables me to experience the power of God in my life, to run and not grow weary, to walk and not faint.

This energizing, percolated faith is readily available to all who ask, seek and knock (Matthew 7:7-8). So how do I experience this power in my life? By getting alone time with God, reading the Bible, and listening for His voice each day. “So faith comes from hearing, and hearing through the word of Christ” (Romans 10:17).

Like a morning with no coffee, there are times when I am sluggish in my faith. Times when trusting Him doesn’t come easily. Times when I need a spiritual espresso. I’ve had several lethargic mornings lately because of life situations that have brought my attitude down.

One realistic way to build my faith back up is by remembrance. When David was just a shepherd boy, he had courage to face a giant partly because he remembered the previous victories the Lord allowed him to experience. He approached King Saul with great confidence, saying: The LORD who delivered me from the paw of the lion and the paw of the bear will deliver me from the hand of this Philistine (1 Sam 17:36). His past victories fueled his faith and helped him to trust God for his present deliverances. Mine does the same. I can face the giants in my life with equal confidence when I pause to remember how God has worked in the past.

Dear God, You have brought me through so many challenging times. Please remind me of Your faithfulness in the past so that I may have a fresh shot of faith that equips me to live today in Your strength. Help me to trust You, and keep me from leaning on my own understanding. In Jesus’s name, amen.

The Size of Fear

“With the Lord on my side I do not fear. What can mortals do to me??” Psalm 118:6 NRSV

Fear comes in all shapes and sizes. Not all fears are bad either and some fears need to be conquered. Fear can protect us from harm and danger, but it can also keep us from taking needed action. For example, the fear of falling down may keep an older adult away from an icy patch in the sidewalk, but the same fear can hinder a toddler to try new steps.

There is abundant fear right now in so many people in light of the recent shooting in Newtown, Connecticut. Panic is gripping parents who want to take their children and shield them from the world. Fear is causing others to put unnecessary blame on unrelated issues to ease their minds. Fear is seeping through to our children as they watch our reaction to the horrible events that unfolded Friday. Parents already do enough worrying as it is. There are so many things that keep me poised on the edge of fear.

I still feel a lot of fear, and I don’t like being afraid.

I’ve found prayer to be the best medicine in fearful times. I have to be careful that I am viewing my fear from a biblical angle and not meditating on my own worries. I admit this is a daily struggle to trust God to handle all my fears.

I know my 6 yr old’s biggest fear is that Satan will take over her heart and make her do things like “that man did to those kids.” I have to put my own fear aside right now and comfort my daughter. We talk about how much fear Daniel must have had in the lion’s den but he also knew God was with him and that God was stronger than his fear. We talk about angels acting as our guardians when we are afraid just as Daniel had an angel there to protect him. We pray for God to keep reminding us that He is always with us no matter where we are or what happens. We pray for the brave teacher that hid her class and that we will have the courage to stand up for what we believe in the face of fear.

I have told my children the truth about what happened Friday but I am cautious in how much detail they hear. I am answering questions as best I can.

I am gripped by fear myself as my 6 yr old tells me, “We have already practiced hiding with our teacher and the police 3 times this year.

Fear makes me want to homeschool my children, but I cannot hide my children from the world. I cannot let fear get to me.

I know it can take years to overcome fear. I still have a big fear of men in hoodies and winter hats, as I was once held at gunpoint. But I didn’t quit my job when that happened, I still venture out in the winter, and I remind myself daily that God is bigger than my fear. I remind myself daily to put my trust in God so my fears can melt away. It’s easy to trust in God when things are going well, but when fear strikes; from a devastating tragedy, from bills piling up, from falling off the bike for the first time; it is hard to jump into God’s arms. But God can defeat any fear that set my knees knocking. I try to recall other times that God has faithfully conquered my fears. I am trusting that He will give me guidance and the right words to help my children as they come to me with their fears.

“When fear knocks at the door of the heart, send faith to open it, and you will find that there is no one there.”  – Author unknown